Now that the holiday season is over, it is time to reflect on what went right and wrong.

Ok...here's what went right...

Ok, lets move on to the wrong...in the controversy and stress of the holiday season, lets face it, we all have our head up our collective arse. We not only have to work and be ourselves, pay our bills but now we have this part time job of trying to have "fun" all month, buy things for people and prepare for 2 additional days of self imposed grief and punishment all on the money we don't have.

Why we do it, I don't know. But we do and it forces us to do some really dumb shit and make us make some mistakes we wouldn't usually make. If you depend on others year round to help you do what you have to do, well you might want to rethink that policy a little.

It is the time of year when most of the people we depend on make the most mistakes forcing us to get more people we depend on who are making mistakes to keep an eye on the other dependable people who are making mistakes.

Alright so the system isn't perfect but if you add all of us up during December we might make 1 1/2 functioning people. It turns us into a set of bumbling idiots.

During the month of December the everyday things we generally do and take for granted get forgotten, routines are screwed up and we just aren't paying attention to what we are doing.

At least twice a year and always once during December, I have a key crisis...where my set of keys goes missing. We've all been in key crisis mode...it takes place at the worst time and always unscheduled.

The loss of ones keys is a crippling event. It can shut your world down if you have a world. You can't leave the house because you can't lock up. Well you could with the internal lock feature but you'd lock yourself out and because you don't have the keys to your car, forget about going any place.

There are actually people in your life less valuable than your keys.

The loss of your keys can set off a variety of key dynamics.

Immediately the loss of site of your keys signals a panic attack. If they aren't where you think you left them, then they are officially gone. Everyone is a suspect....don't bother denying it...you did SOMETHING!

More often than not, we have no one to blame but ourselves. But when it comes to our keys, we'll never admit that. They're lost, stolen, been sucked up by the magnetic force field but its NEVER our fault. Yet once in awhile...every now and then...were right! Sometimes its someone's fault and they don't even know it!

December 16, 2011...

Friday afternoon is upon us with just a few hours left...the mission is in progress...do a years worth of work in 2 weeks. I arrive at the Meriden office to find two surprises...one is our fearless leader Dave Motycka is actually in the office on a Friday afternoon and #2...the place looks like a bomb has gone off in it.

Starting with #1...the Motycka Friday Evaporation Program is as old as our time with him. Any time you see him on a Friday afternoon, mark it on the calendar and play your favorite lottery ticket.

As for #2...well the office is never perfect BUT usually there is somewhere to walk and to put your stuff down. On this day a square inch of room is too much to ask for.

Finally I find a clean spot...sort of...right about then you just want to walk without breaking an ankle.

We all manage to get thru the rest of the day with our hero departing about 20 mins before the rest of us...actually a new record for one of his Friday departures!

Its getting toward the end of the day and were packing up and ready to call it a week. All appears headed for the door until I realize I can't find my keys. Ok, while panic is setting in, the place isn't that big, they have to be nearby. The problem comes in that when I got there, well...there wasn't a 1/2" of real estate to be found to put stuff down. All the "usual" spots where I put stuff didn't exist temporarily and therefore its highly likely that I put them down in unfamiliar territory or someplace else that no longer exists. In other words...were they thrown out? After all they're only MY keys right?

Something that I usually grab and run out the door with at the end of the work day was now missing more than 5 minutes...I must be looking right at them and not seeing them. I implore Angela to join what is now officially a search party..but Angela has another party to go to, another Christmas thing and she's in a hurry.

We dismantle every piece of furniture, overturn every piece of paper...check the closets...I check the parking lot with the light of my phone...inside my car...outside my car...back inside...on shelves..anywhere and everywhere....Angela leaves...

Its now around 5:30...my weekend is a half hour old and its already a disaster and I haven't even left work yet.

Backup plan is enabled...there is a spare office key I can lock up with and I need to call Doodle and get my spare car keys.

Call to Doodle to explain to her the state of affairs and the missing car keys...ok...now there is something about wives in situations like this...when your keys are missing...when your back is up against the wall...you feel helpless...frustrated...confused and full of angst...

It is in these times they have to ask...they just can't help it...they know its gonna make you mad..its in their blood...they can't avoid it...here it comes...steady yourself....hold on to your last molecule...

"Are they in your pocket?"

I have been searching 45 anger filled minutes for my key...the FIRST damn place I checked was my POCKET! Many years ago, that question would've been followed by a screaming tirade on my part....age and maturity now dictate an answer designed to reflect my finess and still let someone know that pissed me off...

"I'm not even going to waste my remaing time on Earth answering that question."

Finally I just implore her to come down and bring me my spare set of keys. In a rare moment of organization, we had them at our disposal readily...probably because I've lost my usual set so many times we had the spares under the "Break Glass for Emergency" box.

Doodle arrives and we comb the office one last time...I will start my weekend with a cloud...the fact I had spare sets of everything was comforting however having the main set in the abyss was unnerving due to the fact that you don't want your work keys in someone's possession or your car keys easy for someone to just walk around a parking lot with your automatic door opener seeing which car lights up so they can steal it...although my car is worth more stolen than in my possession...so this might actually be a victory is disguise.

Still just as my nerves of the holidays, work, loss of keys and everything else, I was about to be relieved a little. Angela calls me up to tell me Motycka has been trying to call everyone...it seems he accidentally pocketed my keys and drove them a half hour away to Glastonbury.

A phone call to apologize a hundred times and that he was on his way back was in mid stream. I told him it wasn't necessary we had my spares and he could hold those until Monday.

I came to conclusion that we always wonder where he is on Friday and the one time we DO know where he is and its with us, he causes chaos. I decided I like him better missing on Friday! At least I know where my keys are.

As for the hour of my weekend I missed looking for my keys...no worries...I left an hour early on Monday!

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